Archie’s at the naked stage of life- if he had his way, he’d be naked 24-7. While I’m pretty loose about dinner attire, I do think underwear is a bare minimum.

Tonight, I took that stand.

Me: Underwear required at the table.

Archie: No. NO NO NO NOOOOOO! I want to be NAKED!

Kevin: (eye twitching) You have to wear something at the dinner table.

Archie: NO! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET MY PENIS FREE!! LET MY PENIS FREE!! I NEED TO BE NAKED!!!!!

Kevin: Well, you need to wear something when you sleep.

Archie: NO I WANT TO BE COLD. Please, please, let me be cold, let my penis free. I want my penis to be free. Like this! (flops around a bit)

Kevin and I both required a few minutes to compose ourselves, during which the conversation shifted to whether or not frozen grapes constitutes an actual dessert, or some sort of culinary child abuse.

Kevin garnered the courage to approach the subject again.

Kevin: Time to get ready for bed. Archie, I have some clothes for you.

Archie: Okay. I’m ready to put on some clothes. My mind changed. It just changes and changes and changes like that.