Horriblisms

Here arelinks to the swell three-act miniseries, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Blog. If you haven’t seen it already, it will be too late by Monday, when the ephemeral show is yanked offline. What will remain is the cultural footprint left by the giant supervillain.

The Joss Whedon creation was a big hit this past week. It will still be available in iTunes form and as part of a reportedly kickin’ DVD in a future release. There are also Captain Hammer comics. However, it will be the use of catchphrases that will signal its impact as a shared cultural experience.

Back in spring 2000, a little-known actor named Chris Walken walked onto the set of Saturday Night Live and urged Will Ferrell to play the cowbell. Eight years later, the phrase “more cowbell” persists as a synonym for “remedy.” Dr. Horrible has eight times as much content—and therefore, opportunity—as the Walken-Ferrell SNL sketch. Something’s got to stick.

Here are my top ten Horrible phrases to get cowbelled into regular use:

#10) “Bring the frozen yogurt”
def. Intentionally unintentional; to stage spontaneity. As in, “Surprised when Angelina showed up at the party, Brad had to bring the frozen yogurt to make it through the evening.”

#9) “Homeless day”
def. A nice but ineffective gesture. Alternately, to view a small gift as a big cure. As in, “The new paint job proved a homeless day after the engine fell out of the car.”

#8) “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY”
def. A strong objection to being interrupted. As in, “WAAAAAAAAAAAY! Like I was saying, the trip to Tahiti was awesome.”

#7) “Freeze ray.”
def. To return from a tangent; to get back on topic. As in, “Sales are down in Chicago. You know, I love the pizza in Chicago. Tasty pies. Not the same kind of pizza you get elsewhere. … Right, Freeze ray. Sales figures can be improved with some creative marketing.”

#6) “Hamjet”
def. The means of seduction. Alternately, to seduce. As in, “Kris is hot. I think I’ll Hamjet her.”

#5) “Captain Hammer will save us”
def. When all hope is lost; a resignation. As in, “After missing three meetings with clients, Captain Hammer is going to save my job.”

#4) “Sporked”
def. To smile while being royally screwed, not in a good way. As in, “When they fired Jerry, they sporked him in a crowded restaurant.”

#3) “It smells like cumin.”
def. When something works, but only on a technicality. As in, “The badly damaged package of china arrived today. It smells like cumin, though.”

#2) “Pie”
def. A superficial jerk who is good at acting like he isn’t. As in, “When he’s around family, Russ is so pie.”

#1) “The hammer is my penis.”
def. Something so obvious it needs to be made explicit to emphasize its obviousness. As in, “Gas is expensive? Yeah. The hammer is my penis, man.”