Parental Concerns

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Possibly not my best day parenting ever, but if I believed in grades, and in lame reassurances for failed attempts, I’d give myself an A for effort.

by Amy Makice

Amy Makice is a social worker actively working on two other family-centered projects, Creative Family Resources and Parenting for Humanity. Amy has a weekly online show on BlogTalkRadio.

Possibly not my best day parenting ever, but if I believed in grades, and in lame reassurances for failed attempts, I’d give myself an A for effort.

Carter and Archie: WA WAAA WAA He blah blah blah and He did this and that

Me: (reciting to self: I am calm, I am competent, I can help my kids solve this problem) Let’s get all our concerns on the table. Carter? What are you concerns?

Carter: He wants to use all the pillows for the pillow wall, and we need them for the pillow barrier. I told him, “be reasonable,” but he won’t.

Me: Okay. So Carter’s concern is that there won’t be enough firm pillows for the barrier. Archie? What are your concerns? (rinse and repeat several times, as Archie won’t stop crying, and Carter won’t stop talking)

Archie: I want to make a pillow wall. I need pillows.

Me: Archie is saying he wants to make the pillow wall now- what solutions can we generate here? Carter is concerned about the barrier and Archie wants to make the wall. (Thinking to self, any minute now boys will be working together to create solutions, bonding their friendship for life).

silence.

Archie: We could make the wall first.

Me: Archie has an idea. He suggests we should build the wall first. Carter? What do you think? Do you have any solutions?

silence

Me: Carter?

Carter: What? I’ve been plugging my ears if it’s not my turn to talk.

Eventually, I tire of the pillow debate and send them outside. After my own therapeutic flower-picking activity, I wander into the backyard.

Carter: Mom!! Watch this! (executes crazy-ass swing off of playset, slightly onto inflatable jumper, then onto ground)

Me: Wow. That doesn’t scare me at all.

Carter: Why should it scare you? I’ve only hit my head on the playset once doing this.

Yep, I’ve got some concerns today.

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3 Comments

  1. Allison added these pithy words on October 8, 2008 | Permalink

    Just watch out for those matches behind the garage! Carter told me he only burned himself once and from them on would tell you he hurt himself doing something else so you wouldn’t take the matches.

  2. Amy Makice added these pithy words on October 8, 2008 | Permalink

    yeah. Let’s just hope CPS doesn’t read this blog, I guess. It’s a hard call to decide what to pretend I still haven’t seen back there. I’m told (by Carter) I need more rules so he can sneak around more. Like, “don’t light yourself on fire” isn’t good enough. Sheesh.

  3. Teresa added these pithy words on October 10, 2008 | Permalink

    Hey, you really sounded like they tell you to sound in the “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen” book! I’ve read both that book and the “Siblings Without Rivalry” one and have never, ever sounded as reasonable as you.

    Here’s how I “resolve” conflicts like that: “You, stop whining; and, you, stop talking. Yeah, just shut up, both of you and go to different rooms.”

    And I’m still cracking up over the matches incident. ;D

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