I ran to the control room and said for Alabaster to gun it and get us out of here as fast as he could. With that, we took off into space and, as it turns out, that’s where we’d be for a long, long time.
There everybody was, sitting on the various sized cots and murmuring about me and Dave in worried and hustled speech. When they saw us, for the first time in as long as I had known him, Alabaster’s jaw dropped and his eyes opened wide. Weasel paid no attention- he was still trying to open the pickle jar.
“I have no idea,” it replied. “I have a better idea of how I got here, and like I’ve already said, I’ve had a complete memory wipe of anything that happened before my mutations. But I can tell you about the mutation process, if that will satisfy you.
“Yes, the Mayfly is a spaceship, yes you are going to be kept in a prison cell, no you aren’t going to have your own personal buffet table,” and on and on. When he finally stopped rattling off the things he assumed I would ask, he started to talk about all the “inside facts” that you probably didn’t know about the famous Kaptain Kronk. For example, “I used to live in a fish bowl. Before that I was the captain of a submarine. Even before that, I was an egg. I bet you didn’t know that, did you?”
When I came to, a couple of hours later, I was in a dimly lit cave with two hulking shadows standing above me. Then all of a sudden, like you see in cheesy alien movies, the lights came on really really bright, as if they were about to examine me. The two hulking beasts were. . .
Baron Freeze couldn’t believe it.
He felt like he was five years old. He had been asked by his son to come and watch over his grandson. He was going to spend the holiday going on with his devious scheme, little did he know, this wasn’t a coincidence.
Now Baron Blast, he went back to his laboratory and made a suit that would fit his new name. He took out what was a popular Martian suit at the time that Earth was in an era called by Earthians “the gay nineties” and modified it so it had four sleeves.