A year ago, life was low. I had just finished a short stint up north — the first request to be “on site” instead of telecommuting — and had to journey back to Crystal Lake again for a prolonged stay. The highlight of the month for me was arriving at the campground where my family was staying the weekend and having Carter run to greet me. Not long after that, I had to force a meeting with the higher ups to be told No: not only would they not financially support my bid for a Masters degree, but they wouldn’t even accomodate the coursework through flex hours. Although it took another 6-8 weeks to make the final decision, I set off on that road shortly after arriving back at the hotel to tell Amy.
That was a blow, to my ego and pocketbook. It made the decision to attend Indiana’s School of Informatics a much more poignant one. We were no financial wizards with a nice salary, but to attempt a full courseload while caring for two small boys on an assistantship and spare change was a tall order. Loans saved our butt in the winter, and a government tax refund just helped us cut loose the noose this week. Still, it is one more year of the same. Worse, probably, since there is no meager savings to use in this second year.
So what now?
IU has a new PhD program, the first in the country for Informatics. Having loved the extreme mental and philosophical makeover that was Year One, I’d be all too happy to extend the process through the rest of the decade. There’s plenty of academic project work I could explore, beginning with my capstone thesis ideas — empathic political discussion, use of non-human actors in video prototyping, using technology to boost athletic attendance, designing a research wizard for the university, to name a few. It would also entrench me in Bloomington for the next few years, at least, without committing me to a long career in academia. However, the idea of one more year of rubber checks and melted plastic is bad enough, let alone tacking on three more. I hate money.
I’m not thinking too much about the long-term future these days. Happy we can pay our mortgage for a few more months and maybe get the credit cards paid down a bit, I’m looking at what I can do this week. I just finished a 4-class load — WARNING: Do not try this at home! — that finished poorly, gasping at mile 25 and needing an Incomplete to overcome a failed attempt at my first real research paper. I also had to shortchange my RA work, which paid for the bulk of my tuition. So even without piling on personal research goals, parenting and home maintenance, I’m going to spend summer paying for my spring. Note the time, and you’ll see I haven’t been very good at meeting sleep goals, either.
But eventually, those big questions loom. What will my capstone be? Will I pursue a PhD? Who will employ me and make this financial investment pay off? What is it that I want to do with my life, now that it is starting again?
Stay tuned.